MEN

Did you know the whole month of June is dedicated to bringing light and awareness to the mental health and well being of MEN? Yet somehow I feel like my social media feed, news feed and everything in between has missed this opportunity completely. Being the mother of three young men, this makes me sad. I have seen first hand the struggles that men can go through and the stigma that comes along with just being tough and knocking someone out when it's needed. Listen, I'm all for standing up for yourself when it's needed, and there have been many times I've told my boys that if the principle called, I'd pick them up and we'd get lunch, but sometimes it goes deeper than that. Sometimes, men are battered and broken. They go through things much like women and they are supposed to just suck it up, be strong, and go on with their life. God didn't give us mouths to speak if we were just supposed to be silent. Men should have the same opprotunities as women to speak about what they are dealing with. I have seen first hand the brokeness that can come along with staying silent.

There seems to be this unspoken norm that men aren't allowed to feel. They aren't allowed to want someone to take care of them in their weak moments. In fact, they shouldn't have weak moments at all. They are supposed to be stoic in the face of anything that is meant to tear them down. The humilaition at the hands of those that are supposed to be friends, or at times, at the hand of those that are family. The women who were supposed to love them, but took advantage of them, left them broken. They aren't allowed to be imperfect. They are the provider, that often times misses everything because they are working their life away to provide for their family. I promise all those things get heavy.

There are moments in a young man's life when they need to be taught real coping skills. Alot of the men that are stuggling were once young men taking guidance from broken men. We have to break the cycle. Men's hormones make them more aggressive, competative and, well, manly. However, this doesn't mean that men don't have feelings. They are taught to suppress them. We give them outlets for the aggression, a way to get it all out. They play football, lift weights, get in the ring and fight. Why do we not offer an outlet for their actual emotions? Why do we shut them up or make them feel less than for wanting to be human? Humans have emotions. We aren't zombies.

I have been on the receiving end of hearing men in my life not want to even continue living. Afraid to open up out of fear of being perceived as weak. Afraid to go down their own path out of fear of disappointing someone or being made to feel less than. Men, much like women, are under an extreme amount of pressure, they just don't voice it as openly. Eventually that voice gets so silenced that they self destruct.

According to cdc.gov, men make up nearly 80% of reported suicides. The data starts with those aged 10 and older. AGE 10. This data should be alarming to anyone. We have to do better. We have to be better.

I would ask you to check on the men in your life. Let them vent if they need to. Offer a safe place to let it all out. Don't make them feel less than for having emotions. If you are a man, check in on the other men in your life. If you're going through something, understand it's normal. It's okay to have emotions. You are not alone and you are so valued. You don't have to be strong all the time. You're allowed to have weak moments. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel broken. It's okay to speak your truth and talk about how you're feeling. It's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to deal with past trauma from loss to combat to divorce and everything in between, there are people who can relate. There are people who need someone like you in their life. Don't give up. Use your voice. You are neve too broken to repair. Be as manly as you want but please know there is no shame in also being able to get things off your chest.

For those out there raising young men, let them be boys and be rough and gritty and fight and spit and run free and come in your house covered in dirt with the biggest grin because they've brought you something they found that they know is going to make you cringe! But please, never silence their emotions. Let them be boys that talk about all the things we don't want to know from the new hair growing everywhere to the new girl they want to kiss. But please, never silence there emotions.

If you're reading this and you're feeling alone with no outlet, please understand there are people out there willing to help you carry your burdens. Your life has value. You have a purpose and regardless of what you've been through, or how many times you've been told to just suck it up, it is never too late to find happiness. To find peace for your life. You are worth it.

You can dial 988 on your phone and be connected with real live help. Don't give up.