One in a Billion

There are billions of people on this earth. Walking different paths, traveling different journeys. People filled with different stories, different versions of themselves from one year to the next. A constant ebb and flow of life that gives and takes, grows and offers set backs only to grow again. Humans with a never ending curiosity about life and the million little things that continue to drive us forward, shaping us into who we are. There are those that are driven, innovative, constantly yearning to be better than they were yesterday, the movers and shakers, the ones that continue to shift our world into the future. There are those that find peace in the simplicity of something constant and stable, without surprises and an understanding that if they just stay put, nothing can become out of place. So many billions of people. Educated and uneducated, rich and poor, loved and abused, first world and third world, from one spectrum to the other. And somewhere amongst all of those billions of people there is you. Someone. .. one someone, one of billions. Uniquely individualized to be exactly who you are.

It's interesting to look around and allow yourself to understand that you genuinely only know what someone is willing to share with you. Sharing the parts that are easy to speak of, the parts that will allow them to be the character they want you to see, the character they want you to know. Only offering the smallest insight into who they really might be, the version that only they know. The version created during moments of quietness when we can reflect on things, decide what we want to keep and what we want to leave behind. What we want to share and what will be carried unshared for the rest of our lives. Moments we can begin to understand how uniquely individualized we really are, one of many billions of others. One ever changing person. Even when we think we know exactly who we think we are, there are moments that surprise us, something that brings joy or a moment in time that hurts us beyond measure, shifting us to become a new version of ourself, different than even a split second before. A new character.

I sometimes envision our lives being written like a book, with an author intently writing each chapter. Each one a collection of those million little moments that tell the story of just one person. All the moments that only we will ever fully know. We are after all, the main character in our story. I think we forget sometimes just how delicate the pages really are, never fully knowing when there won't be another one left to turn. Not knowing if the pen will run out of ink before we have a chance to become everything we wanted to be in our story.

But who, exactly, are we? I think we stand steady on certain ideas and beliefs that are engrained in each of us as individuals. Past traumas or experiences that make us know that no matter what we will always be that certain something. Some will always be kind because they were on the receiving end of an unkind person. Some will be careful, others will be selfless. One thing is for sure, there are no two the same. But somehow, someway, there seems to be others that come into our life and impact us in such a way that it shapes us into this unique individual that we are. Their actions causing a reaction. Shifting us into figuring out who we are. Kind, careful, selfless, happy, angry, crazy, wild, calm, helpful, helpless, the million things that define our character all wrapped up in one.

The hardest chapters to write are the ones where we act out of character in a moment of time that we’d give anything to go back and change. A moment when we have to sit and wonder what caused it. A moment that could define us in someone else’s book. We try intently to grab their pen, hoping to strike a line through it and trying desperately to help them rewrite that paragraph, but we can’t. These moments will shape us into something new. A moment that teaches us to be better, to realize that no matter how hard we try, there are faults in our character. Faults and failures that we can use as lessons to continue to shape us to be someone we are proud of.

One of the most important things I’ve learned throughout my journey is that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to be all the things someone else expects you to be. They are basing their idea of what you should be off of their own life experiences. They have this idea of how a friend should be, a daughter, son, spouse, father or mother and then get angry when you aren’t living up to the character of you that they’ve created in their own mind. I’m guilty of doing just that. Guilty of thinking someone should act a certain way because of the title they hold in my life, but they have a life too. They have jobs, kids, families, and a personal journey that isn’t up for me to decide. But you know what, I can still love them. I can love them and choose to be happy in my own life. We have to accept that each person gets to have their own beautiful life. That each person is writing their own story and we should let them. Don’t be angry when people don’t show up in the capacity you hoped they would. Their own life experiences have molded them into who they are also. So just love them anyway. Be quick to forgive when someone has let you down, and keep writing. And don’t forget to forgive yourself when you’ve not lived up to your own expectations. Just. Keep. Writing.

I have found myself looking within, searching, changing, growing and wanting to encourage you that your story isn’t over yet. That every day, every moment, you have the opportunity to redefine your character. You can begin to realize that all the million things that have happened to you, and all the things that didn’t happen to you, are part of your story. All the people in your life, and those that were left behind, the ones that left bruises, and the ones that left you better than they found you, the times you thought you couldn’t take another step and something inside said, stand up! Or the times where you were so high on the mountain you couldn’t see the ground. These moments that have shaped you into who you are this very moment. Keep going, understanding that you’re story is not complete. That we are never a completed project, rather an ever changing, beautiful, uniquely intricate tiny piece of this great big world full of billions of stories. Yet somehow, there is something so special about yours. So go back, re read the chapters, learn, grow, laugh at the funny parts, and cry when it’s sad, but always know that there is only one you. And to a lot of other someone’s, you are one in a billion. We do only have one life to live, one story to write, so don’t get to the end of it and find yourself saying I wish I would have. Go out and live it, find the beauty in the small things, forgive when it’s needed, grow, change, and love. Write a best seller that people want to read, a story that people want to be a part of.